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| from the viewing deck of the lighthouse i cast my eyes down a lovestruck young girl a sad old man a child looking at the stars a hungry dog the lights from up here don't shine on them for long i am glad i cannot risk being influenced nor too much pity my shift has ended now is the young girl's turn to guard later the old man, then the child when our shift all ends the dog would wander up there in curiosity and i am down here, where they were i learn why they looked up out of hopefulness or hopelessness but most of the time i discovered further it's to prevent tears from spilling my neck hurts | | |
| The tudung is a piece of clothing. Doesn't matter if it's a hanky that barely covers the neck or a billowing parachute that covers the stomach, it radiates the "baik" vibe. Congratulations if you don it consistently. I encourage you to do so if you aren't. God forbid we take it off. A piece of clothing as we all know, can be taken off. Unless you still wear a stainless steel chastity belt (in Robin Hood Men In Tights, the brand was Everlast), you're a special case. So some of us wear it to class or to Pusat Islam only. Some are seen without it in their pictures on Friendster/MySpace/Facebook/every-other-cyber-social-network-areas. Some are seen (I say this with disgust and regret) with it, with one arm slung around the boyfriend's shoulder. In extreme cases, they have it on while their bfs orally copulate them behind a tree somewhere in Ulu Yam (Edisi Siasat). There's a hadith which says it's better for a man to hug a pig rolled in foul-smelling filth and blood than rub shoulders with a woman non-halal unto him. Then what is the point of wearing tudung? Sould there be black spots in the "baik" vibe you radiate? Already I hear the backbenchers banging on the table. The tiring excuse of not being ready yet is pathetic. Ok, so if Izrail comes to part spirit from body, can you tell him that you're not ready yet? Number two, there's this argument of God's call not reaching them yet. Hidayah doesn't get mailed, hidayah won't be in your voice message. Some people are lucky enough to live with it from the start, like Paris Hilton was born with a silver spoon in her mouth. You want to be rich? Make money. You want to guidance, You look for it. The principle of proactivity applies here. God won't change your fortune until you change it yourself (ar-Ra'd:11). Three, I'm touching a non-muhrim, but it's not like I'm kissing or fornicating him/her. Takde nafsu pun. Dah haram tu, haramlah cik akak/abang. Jangan bengkokkan yang dah lurus. The same goes with touching males you consider females. It doesn't matter if he-she's dressing or mannerisms put the naturally female to shame. It doesn't matter if he-she castrated the very thing that drops the 's'in 'she'. He is still male. It's still haram. What more if you wear the tudung? As if extrimism hasn't affected people's view of us, now liberalism? If you say we should shrug off the thoughts of others, then why do people hire image consultants? Why would you want to dress professionally on your interview? Because what people think matters. To a certain extent, of course. That goes without saying. Speaking of guidance. In most conversations I've had with friends, some interviews with celebrities I remember seeing, when it comes to the significant other of our dreams, we want someone who can guide us. The girls say it about the guys. Lelaki kaum pemimpin. The guys? Tangan yang menghayun buaian boleh menggegarkan dunia. The want of verse 26 of An-Nur is there: ...and women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity. These are not affected by what people say... Please answer in the negative to this, is it unfair for the pure significant other to be with the impure significant other? So if we still purposely miss our prayers and proudly claim we behave like satan the damned and think we deserve a soleh spouse, I think we'd better fix our weighing scales of justice. Reciprocity, people. The soleh spouse isn't like a dream house or a dream car, they aren't void of their visions of the man/woman of their dreams. Lets look into the future for a bit. You're married to the soleh spouse of your dreams, she reminds you to pray, he wants you to wear the tudung at intervals in the most painless, most diplomatic way as possible. You are mentally transported to your religious alma mater. Hence the response. You ni macam ustaz/ustazahlah, sukahati I lah. Or grudgingly do it in the name of love. The spouse feels miserable about his/her failure to amar makruf nahi munkar. Both parties are sad. Coming back here. I may lose friends for saying this. I may be probed as to whether I behave as I say. I hope for the first one to result in our betterment, and the second to tally. Ameen. | | |
| 1 seemingly harmless reading material and the accumulation of aftermaths of a few events have made me emo. To layan perasaan, I've been listening to these songs. Perhaps you should give then a try if you're on the same page as I am. Here goes:
1. Rebellion (Lies) by The Arcade Fire
2. Teardrop by Massive Attack
3. Lost by Skin
4. The Power of Goodbye by Madonna
5. Peace Train by Yusuf Islam/Cat Stevens, your flavour
6. Snow on the Sahara by Anggun.
7. Violet by Hole
8. Awful by Hole
9. Celebrity Skin by Hole
10. Mono by Courtney Love
OK. Hole overload there. Which brings us to Courtney Hole. Nasty reports we've read about her. We don't care what she does anymore because all we remember her for is 'ecstasy, hard drugs, bad luck' and the accusation of her murdering Kurt Cobain. So Hole is no more and I hope she makes a comeback for she makes good music .
p/s: For a kick of creativity, I listened to Celebrity Skin Live in Glasgow at www.youtube.com (Love screaming 'they aren't sluts like you' and 'I'm not selling cheap' was gratifying) whilst reading aloud Khalil Gibran's Broken Wings (www.khalil-gibran.org).
"
Sleeping is giving in, no matter what the time is. sleeping is giving
in, so lift those heavy eyelids. " The Arcade Fire.
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| On Beauty socked. Didn't finish it. Pening description of Victorian houses. Am I, as a reader, expected to Google it? Sorry, no time. Wait, I refuse to make time for it. Was torn between White Teeth and On Beauty, so I chose the latest. Nanti ketinggalan zaman pulak lah kan.
So now I am reading a Dale Carnegie book on public speaking. I honestly and stubbornly am better at writing (My BEL results have been Bs so far. Padan muka. Call me kekwat if you want. Start your own humble blog), I decided to change. Ugh. So it boils down to delivery, and the thing that intiates all good and evil: desire! One tactic I must tell. Get your crowd to sit closer. Make them the way atoms of solids are, compact. Remember? Hydrogen atoms are Tasmanian Devils--individualistic and irrerepressible. It's much harder to be individualistic that way, hence the speaker will influence your thoughts. Dirty eh? No wonder people support Dubya. No wonder Vietnamese chanted "KILL! KILL!" at the cruel prosecution of a couple kantoi-ed for adultery, against their conviction of the Khmer Rouge being satan in human flesh. It's called social influence. It's natural, it's blameless, it's proven in social psychology.
Just bought Ernest Hemingway's For Whom the Bell Tolls and Milan Kundera's Identity. Haven't touched them, because I haven't finished with Carnegie speechlessly coaching me in public speaking. Now I'm looking for Ezra Pound's the ABC of Reading. And Khalil Gibran's books (Prof Shad told me they're banned. Tsk. Bukowski wrote about fat pussies and his books are on sale in Kinokuniya. Pfft). Also Pramoedya Anata Toer's (phew!) works.
I am also reading the Essential Rumi translated by Coleman Barks. Beautiful magic is my inadequate praise for it. Read Rumi to understand your soul. You've lived with it your whole life I know, but Rumi introduces you to other figments you were ignorant about. Spiritual orgasm? Nah. Orgasms are hot and flashy. Enlightenment is more like it, cooling and lasting. Something private you'd want to publicize.
I'm hearing the annoying imaginary Malay supremo talk. Why aren't you reading Malay works? Why not A Samad Said? The information questions wh wh wh. I thought you promised to be fluent in your mother tongue.
Wait, am I not phantomtongue? I choose the language I want to be fluent in. Phantoms have no obligations. Phantoms have no race, blood, religion. Phantoms borrow these things.
Yeah. Everybody wants to shut rebels up. I went for BM tuition in order to get a transcript for SPM. God gave me A1, by the way. Thank you Pn Zulaika, BM doesn't intimidate when you're around. I'm gonna talk "semacam" again during CTU presentation next semester and curse myself for being a Malay pariah. Or more gently, not fully Malay.
What makes a full Malay? Kurung? BM? Voting for UMNO? Article 160? I need guidelines.
About shutting rebels up. Please ignore Hindraf, press. Don't give them attention. More less-panas stories worth reporting dear journalists. My father's scared to let his naive and reckless daughters out of the house due to your overwhelming coverage of the issue. Dear responsible government of the people, if you're scaring people for support, I see why you own the media. Idiots, you answer God in the hereafter. Like I will be for my use of media and other stuff. God guide, protect and forgive us. Do I sound selfish? Don't care. This is my blog. You start your selfless blog. These people are like mengada kids in Toys R Us. Hello, ethnic cleansing? So Hitler. Bimbo ke? Don't care. Again, this my blog. Start your own Nobel-Prize winning one.
Whoa. I feel the way Sally felt during EST classes in Form Four:
"Is this satan talking to me?"
Thanks for letting me read your poem Taya, without stealing its title to become the name of my post, it would've been called 'blurbs'.
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| float on sleepy waters
God married hydrogen to oxygen
my throat has many seasons
i notice only Sahara
the whole Nile i'd drink
to fill it to the brim
now that i'm in the Nile
the couple moans from deep
im senile to all
except one
the Sahara in my throat
it has kept me afloat
* * *
ignorance tells us about the love story between irena and josef through history's spectacles. kundera also observes the weakness of man's memory. brief but takes time to digest. deep stuff, interesting use of words.
what i didnt like about it? the sex. in fact, i think sex --its details especially-- is unnecessary in music, videos, movies etc etc. sex sells, i know. but there's nothing intellectual about it. so can i say that we have slid down to "un-intellectuality"?
unless it's medical science or psychology etc etc.
ah yes, erotic literature too.
by the way, 'the couple moans from deep' refers to H2O, nothing sexual although appearing to be ambiguous in the beginning. haha. try submerging yourself in the ocean, lake, deep waters basically. then you'll get what i mean. you can hear it in those big shells too.
the poem above is about how something we want to get rid off actually benefits us in the end. i used sahara because it's equivalent to thirst, nile is the drink. when we have too much of it (now i'm in the nile), a little of what we don't like sustains us (she has kept me afloat). and how we look at the glass half full (i only notice sahara).
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